Monf and Ljubs are both out of Estoril. Wrinkley Old Knob Head is being bothered by the muscle strain that kept him out of Rome, Monf, on the other hand, is just plain sick.

“I hardly slept an hour last night,” he said. “I was sick three or four times… I hope to go to Madrid [next week], but I’m not sure. I’ll have to wait and see how I feel.”

I know I’ve ripped on the guy for playing out of his mind (like many people have) but he’s still damn entertaining. Finally he gets re-un-injured… and then he gets a stomach virus. That’s just plain shit unlucky. Feel better, man.

Oh, and JCF is apparently out of Madrid with… wait for it… knee? Wrist? Knee? Wrist?… If you guessed knee, you’re right! Lame.

Hats (and hairpieces) off for the Wrinkley Old Knob Head, who became the oldest debut winner of a Masters tournament yesterday, at 31 years and 2 days. 31! And it’s not like he had a great draw and took oppurtunity of it, he took out Nole, Rafa, and Dick. He also becomes the first Croat to win this tournament. Another important stat: 4 tiebreaks played, 4 tiebreaks won. You can’t hope to beat top players if you can’t take them out in the big tiebreaks (case in point, Baggy) and Ljubs just plain outserved Dick yesterday to take it.

Simply put, it’s just fun. Sure, you can be pissed at the fact that he took out such glory as Pico, Nole, and Rafa, but at some point you just have to tip the hat (or walking stick). Good job old man. Go buy yourself a nice reclining chair.

“If I have to play the match of my life with doubles, I’d pick him as a partner.” – Wrinkley Old Knob Head on Rafa.

Good call, old man. Because Rafa has one tough noggin’… right? Go figure, Mr. Clean took Rafa out in a third set tiebreak, when you’d figure Rafa would be automatic. Rafa?

‘I was more nervous than passive, because I never had to arrive to this tiebreak.’ At 6-1 ‘I was destroyed mentally*’ – Rafa

Rafa… destroyed mentally? Hmm. Sounds like a brother is out of match play. It HAS been over a month. So how odd is it that Rafa might actually need the play more for the mental side than the physical side? Because the dude is moving well, and hitting shots.

But let’s just throw our hats off to Old Man Ljubs for a second. A player who was as high as number 3 four years ago… and turned 31 two days ago. THIRTY ONE. That wrinkley knob head is old in tennis terms, y’all (does he not look way fuckin’ older or what?) He’s used his experience and sensibility to make brilliant and smart shots all week long. God damn old man.

This goofball beat Sod (thanks for avenging Muzz!) in three needless sets, after being up a break and giving away two in the second set. Really, the guy is on fire with the serve, for the most part, and without Fed in the way, he’s made the final losing only one set on the way. So the new age, big server vs. the creative walking stick. Probably not what the tournament organizers were expecting, but… gooooood.

Whatever Asia. I get home to see Rafa take the second set, see Old Man Ljubs is wrapping up his leg, go and make my coffee, come back, and suddenly Rafa has a sweater on and is signing my computer. WTF Mr. Clean? I was all excited to see an exciting third set, but noooo. This is the eight retirement for the tournament, which surely must be some sort of new insane record (and while I’m on it, there were retirements in 2 of the 4 QFs in Osaka). I did catch a little bit of the Nole/Gilles match too, the end, seemed like a pretty competitive match, Nole came out in 3, and is into the semis, which is pretty well going to give him a strangle hold on his usual third spot in the rankings.

WTF is this? Feli had to qualify just to get into a tournament last week and now he makes a semis of a Masters event? I know we’re down Muzz and Fed, but this is a bit insane. Koala The Bear defeated Steps The Sex in three, and continues his mad hot streak that he’s been on. I’m pretty well assuming he’s going to be qualifying for the YEC, he’s been absolutely tearing shit up of late. So that means Koala/Nole, and pretty boys Rafa/Feli for your semis. Also:

RAFAEL NADAL SHIRTLESS. GET ME LOTS OF HITS. RAGH.