I woke up this morning to some interesting and fun news, all of which is interesting, none of which really deserves its own post (maybe I’m just lazy). Anyway, here’s some bits and pieces from around the tennis universe to start your morning (assuming you’re like me, and in North America)

This was actually announced yesterday, but Fabrice is staying! That’s right folks, no Favre-ing it, he’s pre-empting it by just not retiring at all… well, yet… and the Magician will play AO. Not bad considering he’ll be THIRTY SEVEN when the  tournament starts. Holy.

And on the retirement front. Justine has confirmed she’ll start out next year in Brisbane. Martina (Hingis) however, will not, and said “you can’t just snap your fingers and say ‘let’s go and play the Australian Open’”. Ah, touche, you need to play Brisbane first, duh. Oh Martina, your bitchiness knows no bounds, this is probably for the best.

Aaaaand finally, Dick has officially qualified for the YEC in London. Fun! If I’m not mistaken, Koala and Fergasm are holding down the two final spots, but obviously haven’t officially qualified. And rather hilariously, Koyla actually passed Dick in the rankings after he lost Shanghai points, and Koala gained them, and is now a whopping 10 points ahead to be in sixth spot.

Also on the rankings front, Wicky cracked the top 20 yesterday, and turned 20 today! Belgian waffles for everyone!

Well there’s a funny picture. (The Fuzzy One has the goofiest smile ever. Its also sort of hilarious to think that he’s 28…)

Woke up this morning to 7-6, 6-3, can’t really say I’m too surprised, once again, the dude deserved this title. And let’s be honest, Rafa is playing well, but he is still clearly a step away from his usual dominant, pinpoint accuracy, crazy self, and I think you’d have to be a little nuts to make TOO huge of a deal out of this, Rafa will be fine come Australia, I have no doubt.

But from a pure tennis nerd, objective perspective, this continues to make things interesting heading into next year, and the first slam (and yeah, I guess YEC). In my eye, the two biggest things for next year are going to be 1) how well can Elf do at the slams and 2) how much gas does Fed have in the tank, and in general, where its the dominance of Rafa/Fed factor going to be at? But now you’ve also got Muzz struggling of late, Nole playing great… and Koala… playing even better? I think pointless guessing of outcomes is silly, but when it comes purely to who is playing at what level, there’s a whole lotta weird stuff going on. Hell, at the rate we’re going, we could have a Koyla/Nole YEC final, how hilarious would that be? Just sayin’. Regardless, I’m actually pretty pumped for Paris, I think there’s going to be a lot of really great matches there. Bring it on, boys.

I told y’all to watch out for Shorty McBaldsky, the dude has been on a tear. So don’t say you weren’t warned. Because, you know, I’m sure you totally were going to. Anyway, Koala The Bear took out Nole not-so-surprisingly in a third set tiebreak. Missed the match, once again, but sounds like it was an epic, I might actually download it and watch the last set or something. Poor Nole though, the dude just absolutely LOVES third set tiebreaks by this point, I’m sure. Still, head up if you’re a Nole fan, the guy is playing great of late, and is taking some serious confidence into the YEC (and hopefully next year, eventually).

*Takes out the chalk, ticks off 9* Nine retirements baby! How should we caption Rafa’s face? “Oh not this shit again”. “What, we’re not allowed to play 3 sets here anymore?” “What’s your last name, Bartoli?”

Not like he was ever going to lose (and he destroyed in the first set), but man, these retirements are past the point of comedy.

And now for the MTR musical tribute to Shanghai, that can only properly be brought to you through the power of a Canadian rock band from the 90′s.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCwrQSe9m4c&hl=en&fs=1&]

Or you know, not.

Gilles keeps the Thailand title in French hands with his win over The Troik, and Koyla (sort of surprisingly) topped Fer to take the Malaysia title. I’m a little disappointed these trophies aren’t more ridiculous (as are Gilly and Koyla) as these are 250 events, and demand final ridiculousness. Anyway, good wins for both, first title for Gilles, third for the Koala Bear, on the year. Its late, yeah, but they deserved a post.

First, the match. What a spectacle by Koyla, holy crap. It actually made it ok that I was watching a match on clay in August. Dude was firing mad angles from all over the place, and JCF was doing a pretty damn good job of matching him early in the match. But Koyla just kept going and it was clear there was no way he was going to keep up. Someone noticed that JCF kept doing the same thing, and was getting burned, but in my opinion, didn’t matter much. He hit two insane down the line forehand winners off serves out wides just points from each other, was dinging mad cross court winners when JCF came to the net, and just overall was whacking mad angles and lines while on the run and winning points he seemingly had no business of being in. He went on to win 63 60 and I believe won it by taking 9 games in a row.

This will likely outrage the RafaKADs, but it really did remind of him, it was that beautiful. Interesting stat showed that Koyla is third in the ATP for return games won at 33%, Rafa being at number 1 with 39% (assuming the second is Fed). I know clay =/= hard, but if Koyla can keep serving with the same high percentage and being able to zero in on those types of angles and lines, he’s going to make a serious impact in Cincy, Montreal, and the USO, and I’m pretty sure he’s gonna sneak up on a lot of people, players and spectators alike, since he was out for a while with the injury.

On a side note, WHAT is up with that trophy? Its like the tourney organized how silly some of the other trophies have been and said “oh, we’ll make a fuckin’ trophy!”. Thing is GINORMOUS. I’m pretty sure its made of glass but it looks like plastic. Who designed that damn thing, the Czar of the dollar store? Its a bloody 250 tourney. Very much in the run for the Top 10 WTF Trophy Awards at the end of the year. Even Koyla agrees that that thing is ridonk.

My post titles stolen from lyrics have officially ventured into the obscure. 28 year old Koyla Bear and 29 year old JCF dialed back the clocks into magic land, both winning their semis on clay in Umag and will face each other in the finals! The big difference was that Koyla absolutely destroyed, and JCF needed about 2 hours 40 minutes and 3 sets. Different path, same outcome. And just in case you’re wondering if Koyla is REALLY back, the dude served at 88% and won 89% of his first serve points against Melz, winning easily 61 61. He played 7 service games and only missed FOUR first serves all match (three of which he won anyway) without double faulting. Yeah, that’s fair. Oh, and JCF beat Ferru-avenger Seppi.

Gstaad – Igor lost (after having a set point or two in the second set) to qualifier Bellucci, 64 75. Uh, fail. Beck beat Marcos Daniel in straights and they’ll both go for their first ever title tomorrow in the final.

Istanbul (…Constantinople…) – Ah damn. Petkovic’s dream run over the course of two tournies finally came to and end, with a tough 3 set loss to Hradecka, in a match that was nearly 3 hours. Dushbag also pulled out a solid straight sets win, and that will be your final tomorrow.

Koyla The Koala “jumped over” Ferru in the semis, and then “rocket powered” past PHM in the final. The second seed “propelled” his way to, well, lets say his 46th career title (actually its his 15th, his 8th on clay, and his 12th 250 level title). Great to see for the Slamless Bear, the win obviously meant quite a bit to him, and he continues to be the powerhouse who has been in the top 10 for about 3247823 weeks. Great turn out for Frenchie PHM too who proves he’s got some serious clay game throwdown.

But whaaaaat is that? A trophy? I know the German’s love their renewable energy sources, but this is a bit far. Wind turbine? Silver plated desk fan? Perfect for those long afternoons at the office. Perhaps the even more hilarious thing is that PHM got the baby version of it for being runner-up.

I’m also officially going to have some sort of “Top 10 Trophies” post at the very end of the year, and countdown my fave trophies. Ginormous Pink Bong, Deer Candle In Punch Bowl, Silver Plated Desk Fan… where do they think this shit up? But hey, they’re practical, no argument there!