These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.

It’s been a weird summer for Maria Sharapova. After getting blown off the court in Toronto, literally and metaphorically, by a crafty youngster, she went on to win Cincinnati. It wasn’t pretty, it wasn’t easy, but above all, it was effective. At the end of the match she was the better player, and at the end of the tournament she was the best player.

Unfortunately for her, it was a fine balance, and this week the scales didn’t quite tip as she would have liked them.

“I made way too many unforced errors. I fought back to get myself back in the match in the third set. I think the first three, four games on every game I had a chance to win that game, whether it was a breakpoint or it was a game point on my serve, and I didn’t win those games.” “Um, I didn’t feel comfortable with most of my game today,” said Sharapova.

Make no doubt about it, there are always two players on the court. Pennetta was incredibly consistent today, and persistent. She also overcame a huge mental hurdle in the third set, when she blew two break points to go up 4-0 and eventually found herself back on serve.

” Well, I just starting to play not too much shots in the same position to try to move her a lot and try to let her run a lot, and I think it was working really good. All the time when she move on the forehand she have a little bit of problem; with the backhand she can do whatever she want. So also I starting to be really aggressive when she was serving. I try to just let her think too much and maybe make some double fault,” said Pennetta. Maybe it’s age, maybe it’s experience, maybe it’s luck, but getting Maria Sharapova to over think is a wonderful strategy, and it worked.

For Masha, it’s a match in a string of frustrating up and downs since her comeback from her shoulder injury. The ability is there, but the changes to the serve still haven’t quite worked out and one could argue the mental steel isn’t quite there either. After a double fault that brought up 0-30, 4-5 on her serve in the third she looked near tears. It was as if to say “no matter how hard I push back, I just can’t quite make it.” She lost that game and the match.

Luckily for Sharapova, her year is not over and she has a chance to return to Asia, where she found success last year, and the Year End Championships. ” I’m not really looking forward to a 14 hour flight in a couple of weeks. Yeah, the year is not over. We’ve still got I think I still have three tournaments to go or so. Yeah, once they come then it will be time to play again and raise my level. Until then, I just have to, you know, keep working in order for me to go out in the match and raise it.”

Photo: Getty

Practice makes perfect. It also makes tennis tournaments.

I find practice gets mentioned far more in the men’s game, probably because of the extremes of some of the top players. Rafa goes balls to the wall on all his practices as if they were a slam match, Fed relies on schedules, patterns, consistency, and Novak likes to yuck it up with the guys. That being said, watching a player, any player, in their practice, is something that makes a tournament, sets the atmosphere when you’re there, and is really such a bonus feature to the whole experience.

Practices are also different. Today I saw Marion serving at cones down the tee, Dinara practicing cross court backhands, Agi practicing volleys, there’s all sorts of stuff. Sometimes, player will play legit points against each other and really go at it, and that’s when things can get fun…

On Monday, I watched Flavs and Vika go at it, and it definitely wasn’t pretty. While Flavia seemed the angry one at first, getting absolutely killed, spraying balls everywhere, and eventually smashing balls against the back stop in frustration, it wasn’t long before Vika had her own set of problems.

Vika’s errors got ridiculously out of control, and she ended up firing a ball backwards off the court and into the Banque Nationale court. I mean, into to, not against. It very easily could have knocked someone in the back of the head, or entered play there. At the switch of ends, she steamed at her coach “when I ask you for the ball, give it to me right away.”

Once Flavs was on our side, she was yelling “aahhhh puta!” and having a hell of a time with just about everything.

The end result? Both of them lost a combined 6 games in their respective matches. Get that shit out on the practice courts, people. Especially against another good player. It’ll help you keep things together for your next match.

If 2009 was kind to Flavs, 2010 has been a cruel bitchslap. From what I’ve seen, she’s looked passive, distracted, or frustrated and dejected… or any strange combination. Hell, I can barely analyze what’s happened to her game, as she’s barely made it far enough in any tournaments for me to see her play. She fell to Petkovic in straights today.

Oddly enough, she’s won 3 straight Premier tournies with her dubs partner Dulkbag. Focusing her energy on doubles? That’s just a lot more fun? Who knows. You would think when one game would go south, so would another. Apparently not.

That’s right folks. It really did.

I’ll admit, I’ve been one in the past to try way too hard to look for the positives in Ana games when it’s been clear things weren’t going well. But this is the best Ana has played in a very, very long time. A 6-4 6-4 victory over a woozy Vika is the first win for her over a top 10 opponent in 18 months.

The joys of a coach. Instead of beating herself up and physically flailing after a bad point, she takes it in stride, and seems to keep herself mentally a float. Instead of being a total headcase and miss tossing balls on the serve left right and centre, she goes for it, and is thinking about what she’s doing and using the serve as a weapon again. Heinz, you rule.

Gotta keep it real, however. Vika took a medical timeout at 4-all in the first set, and I expected her to drop the set and retire. Instead she spent most of the second set up a break, while Ana seemed apparently blind to the fact that her opponent was barely upright. Props to Vika for hanging in there, as long as she’s feeling ok. But hey, huge win. Elena is going to be one hell of a challenge.

This one’s back too. The first set, it seemed Serena was either rusty, or only interested in making a trip straight back the beach. But then she kicked it into second gear, and well, that was the match.

Flavs continues to struggle, and to me, looks like a lost soul on court. Mentally, she seems distracted and only half there and instead of really going for balls and pushing opponents around like she did so well last year… well, she’s eating baked goods at the hands of Lucie.

And yes, Dinara lost. She’s still getting the timing back, but if you’re a Dinara fan, you’ve gotta be pretty impressed with what you’ve seen so far, considering how long she’s been out. Pretty straight forward with the other matches on the day.

Full action got underway today in Dubai, and, well… the demographic mindfuck that are these UAE tournies really got going. And go figure, they let Shahar in, and she gets an upset in her first match, taking out a struggling Wicky in three sets. Good on ya girl.

Speaking of upsets, Superhero Sam continues to be having trouble with this “singles only” thing, losing to Grammy Garbin in the first round. Dude, she was just playing the Pattaya City final for God sakes. Start playing doubles again… especially if you plan on making any sort of regular income.

Flavs czunk Czink in straights, Bepa took out Vezzie in three, AMG, Aravane, Gypsy, MJMS, and Domi all won. Nads was dinged out in two tiebreaks to Voegele.

Buy – Ana Ivanovic
What is there to say? If you’re Ana, the good news is that you can’t possibly have a worse year than you did last year, considering the often easy draws you got from an inflated ranking. The bad news is, you’re no longer in the top 20, and now have something to prove… which in turn is probably good news for us Ana fans. The French Open is her only slam, but she had years of success before that, it wasn’t a fluke. We all know she has the game to climb back to the top and become a contender, and considering this is her lowest ranking in about forever, buy.

Sell – Venus Williams
True, for any other player, it would have been a fantastic year. But interestingly, she (and Vika) only played 17 tournaments (one less than Serena, two less than Dina… 9 less than Caro…) and she had some pretty strange fails, like losing in the second round at AO after being up 5-2 in the third, and to K-Bond in Toronto. Sure, she made Wimbley final, has never been great on clay, and lost to eventual champ Kim at the USO… but she also turns 30 next June, and is pretty well no longer a slam contender other than Wimbledon. She’ll likely be around for a few more years, and still has great, top 10 stuff, but I’d look to sell as inconsistencies start to settle in.

Buy – Alize Cornet
For a player who had such an impressive 2008, its hard to believe that the Trumpet will be having a 2010 that’s anywhere close to 2009. After a fourth round loss at the AO to Dina, in an insane match that she could and should have won, she could only make it as far as the third round, once, in any other major tournament (being Miami, only taking 4 games off JZ). And she finished 2009 up ranked 50th. Jesus. She’s still young and has SOME promise, somewhere in her. Surely. If you’re in a gambling mood, buy, possibly even buy big.

Sell – Flavia Pennetta
Yeah, I know. I floves Flavs too. And I know, we all want a piece of that. But at the same time… a player who has her break out year at 27? She finished the year at 12th spot, and will be 28 in February. I’d love for her to keep rocking it, but something tells me she might not be hanging around the top 10 for that much longer, so it might be a good idea to sell. (Thanks to Steph from FD for the epic pic).

Buy – Sam Stosur
After having health problems and 2008, and being a mainstay contender in doubles, Superhero has decided she’s going to mainly focus on singles in 2010, and looking at her results in 2009, who can blame her? I got a chance to see her beat Kuz in Toronto, and then beat Gypsy 6-3, 6-1, in what was one of the biggest dominations I saw all year. Gypsy was powerless against Sam’s power, and when she would start to come in, Superhero would beast backhands cross-court, forehands down the line or cross-court. And then when it seemed like Gypsy might be on to something, Sam would just come to the net and start volleying the shit out of everything, and as I’ve noted many a time, all Gypsy could do was curse at the sky. Sure, it was just one match (two including the Kuz ownage). But at the same time, seeing that live, and the frustration it was causing Gypsy, the sheer power and variety in her game, whether to bash baseline or volley at the net… she finished the year at 13, and don’t be surprised if she breaks the top 10 this year.

Sell – Elena Dementieva
Perhaps I’m cheating a bit again, playing the “age card”… but yes, Lena had a solid year, winning the clusterfuck that was Toronto, and nearly making it to the Wimbledon final. But seeing her play this year just seemed endlessly frustrating, and most seem to think her chance at winning a slam is gone. Not that this is just about winning a slam, but its hard to see Lena’s game or ranking climbing much higher than it is now, and it wouldn’t be surprising to see the inconsistencies, frustrations, and earlier round loses come in more often over the next year or two.

So much for that whole “battle to get into Doha” thing. Poor Aga lost to MaKiri 3 and 3, and Flavs retired against Agi Szavay down 0-3 in the second set after winning the first, with a leg injury. Lame. A-Rad cited being tired on court, and the fact that it was playing so slow (it really is in Moscow, insanely slow for a hard court) meant she had to run down a lot of balls and was just generally feeling exhausted. Le sigh. As for Flavs, a crap end to a great year, head up woman. As you’ve probably figured out, both players are now out for contention into Doha. And because of the ridonk rules, A-Rad can’t get into Doha, and Flavs who can, won’t go because Fed Cup is the same week. Oh WTA, you’ve done it again.

So who do we have left? JJ and Bepa, separated by a whopping 5 points in the race, with JJ having the slight edge. So pretty well, whoever gets further in Moscow is into Doha, and if they both lose in the same round, then its JJ. Simple as that.

Further WAT? in Moscow, A-Bond beat Nads in straights.

Wicky, Dani, and Ms. Licky all won in Luxembourg, and Flippy McFlipkens upset third seed AMG. How about them Belgians?

In Linz, Flavs loses to Wicky, Kvitova beats Agi, and in Osaka, Superhero bagels Caro and wins in 3, and Franny destroys Sania. Yeah, whatever WTA, you’re sleeping on the couch tonight. Tomorrow I gotta work and do some shit, I’ll talk to you Monday.

Seriously Flavs, if you’re not careful, you are going to hurt someone.

As if there was any doubt, A-Rad and Flavs are both moving on to their respective semis as the top two seeds. Kvitova upset CSN and two, and Wicky is about to drop Errani, which kinda makes me sad, cause I sort of naturally cheer for the shorties (probably explains my odd liking of Domi) but at the same time, Wicky is looking good these days, and must have a full head of confidence right now. In reality though, Agi/Flavs final please.

The Blueberry Danish returns!

And over in Osaka, AKA the tournament no one is paying attention to, Caro beat CanWoz in 3 sets (would have loved to see that, obv) Sammy won easily, and as mentioned in my manly man post, Franny won via a walkover from Czink, and Mono retired against Sania after dropping the first set and going down 2-0. And just in case you were suspicious, she destroys all doubt as if she was actually injured after the match by confirming for Bali. Right. Regardless, no Mono for the YEC! Woohoo! If A-Rad and Flavs can make the final of Linz… watch your ass JJ, that last spot is going right down to the wire.

And since a certain tennis lusting blog has been generally innactive of late, and I DID post a shirtless Rafa pic, its only fair to show some gender equality in the ladies’ post.

HOT. Oh Caro, between your attractive hit face and sexy wrist watch, I’d fire some balls into your service box… or… something to that extent. She’ll take on Sammy the Superhero in her semifinal match.

I think its pretty safe to say that our last ladies aren’t dicking around over in Austria. With Flavs, Mono and A-Rad all still in contention for the final YEC spot, methinks they want it. First off, yeah, I’m a little late… or early, with this, but its effing hard to talk about two tournaments when they’re in such wildly different time zones, which end up awkwardly aligning with my day. Anyway, Flavs won her opening match 1 and 1, and Mono won her second rounder today by the same score. A-Rad is up a set and looking good right now. And heyo whaddayaknow, the Trumpet actually won a match, over Barrois, in 3 sets. Yeah, you show em girl. The Wozes won their opening matches yesterday, and Franny and Sania (really?!) won their second round matches today in Osaka. I hope you’ve enjoyed the incredibly disjoint and confusing coverage.