Damn straight people. As the Olympics end, so does a week with a billion tournaments, leaving us with an absolute lull in action. And you know Nole is excited. So excited he just wants to reach out and hug Sven. Just a bit more reach there man.

It was extra painful for him, as the final was delayed on Saturday due to rain, and resumed on Sunday. Nole being up a set naturally dropped the second one just to make sure things were extra dramatic, but pulled out the third against The Iron Commander and successfully defended his title. Good job Number 2.

Why Venus, an American, who hates clay, and is a Williams, continues to play this small Mexican clay tournament is beyond me. What’s even more beyond me is how she actually seems to really enjoy it… and you know, win it. You could teach your sister a thing or two, methinks.

Solid win by Ferru too. The real props go to both him and JCF though, who have made the finals of both the last two week’s clay tournaments, and won one each. Holy. So much for these guys being old, or on the decline, or… anything. They suddenly become guys to watch for the clay season.

CURLS. Representin’. First ATP title. Over a 31 year old Ivo. Bitches.

Aaaand the Sweaty Ponytail over Elena in Malaysia. So… yeah. See you in Bali or something.

Well then, look who has gotten himself into some hot water.

“I would have liked to have won (the match vs. Tipsarevic), but it’s not the end of the world. You know, if it was a slam or something, my tactics and my game style would have been a bit different. You know, like I said, I wasn’t necessarily coming in as well prepared as I have done in previous tournaments. You know, I was trying different things. So I made more mistakes than normal, and I went for a lot tonight.

I need to make sure I’m playing my best tennis at Indian Wells and Miami. I need to be in top shape for there. I said before the start of the tournament I hadn’t trained as much and I can’t expect to play my best tennis.”

Safe to say the tourney organizers were less than impressed.

“It’s disappointing that it could be construed in a way which indicates he wasn’t taking the event quite as seriously as he does,” said John Beddington, a Barclays consultant. “It’s as disappointing for us as it is for Dubai Duty Free who work so hard and operate the event.”

I think James Larosa had a great point saying “money can’t buy you everything” in pure sarcasm to the fact that none of the top seeds are left in Dubai. I’m starting to think that if tournament organizers want to shell out big money for top players and THEN complain they didn’t play well enough (which is obviously just a completely selfish thing) they should offer cash rewards according to how far they got.

People on that post (which annnoyed me, ripped into it on the coments, but that’s an aside) seem to think that it’s some sort of lame excuse or something, but Muzz is telling it like it is. How can you expect top players to want to play their hearts out against a not-so-elite field in 500 or 250 events? What better places for them to try new things against competitive players in the top 50, really. I dunno, the whole thing’s dumb. Get over it, non-Masters events.

Youz typically salutes the crowd after a win, but this time it’s my turn to give the Youz a salute and an official nickname (“The Iron Commander”.) A high honour in MTR land… or something. Sure, the guy only turns 28 this year and was at his highest ranking in January of 2008. But at the same time, the guy has only ever made one slam semi (USO 06), never won a Masters tournament and only won one 500 event. But the guy was just injured, and despite seeds falling left and right, he continues to toughen things to reach the semis of Dubai with a win over Janko 3 and 4. Not to mention the guy seemed to be one of the few winning constants in the smaller, later tournaments of last year.

And yes, it’s been a hell of a week for the seeds in Dubai. Meaning they’re either hurt (Kolya), hurting inside (Muzz – sadness, Jo – tummy), or just don’t give a damn (Nole?).

Marin lost to Melzer today in straights, who also beat T-Rob in the second round. And in the second round, Janko beat Muzz in 3, Old Man Ljubs beat Jo in straights, and Kolya retired a set down with wrist problems. Yo man, a buddy of mine is having the same problem. The wrist thing. You might have heard of him. Give him a ring. Oh, and Nole is down a set to another sort of Ironman, Old Man Ljubs.

Men – Dubai (500)

Official Site: Here
Draw: Here
Top Seeds: Nole, Muzz, The Fuzzy Koala, Jo?, Marin
Random Dude I Think Will Win: Muzz

Joint – Acapulco (500 & International)

Official Site: Here
Draws: Men & Women
Top ATP Seeds: Fergasm, Gonzo, Ferru, JCF
Top WTA Seeds: Venus, Agnes, Dulkbag, Sorana Banana (already lost), CSN
Random Dude I Think Will Win: Gonzo
Random Chick I Think Will Win: CSN

Men – Delray Beach (250)

Official Site: Here
Draw: Here
Top Seeds: Who gives a fuck?… er… T-Haas (lost), Ivo, Becker Jeremy.
Random Dude I Think Will Win: …Ivo? There’s fucking nobody interesting in this ENTIRE tournament save for maybe Ernie. Holy.

Women – Kuala Lumpur (International)

Official Site: Here
Draw: Here
Top Seeds: Lena, Nails (already lost, WTF), JZ, Kleybs
Random Chick I Think Will Win: JZ

Well that’s just Vika. After a collapse (in my mind, what SHOULD be a confidence shattering one) to Serena in Melbourne, looking exhausted and injured for Fed Cup, girl has put together a hell of a run to the final. And she’s looked confident doing it. Oh, and she’s beating players that she’s supposed to beat. Hell, it’s early in the season, but I’m impressed, and the on court antics seem to be down (though that might just be because I haven’t seen them, she’s winning, or both.)

Regardless, Vika is confident, striking the ball with authority, and despite A-Rad’s best attempts to push her around the court and try to dictate play, Vika was pouncing on short balls, coming to the net (and looking totally comfortable doing it) and knocks up another straight set win. She’ll face defending champ Venus in the final at 7pm local time (10am EST.)

I guess it had to end sometime. Shahar’s ride on the magic bus stopped at the quarterfinals, with a pretty routine win for Venus. Of course, the irony (if that’s the right word) is pretty epic. Venus won the title last year, and spoke out against the exclusion of Shahar after winning. So what does she get this year? A semifinal match… on an outer court. Probably the first time she’s played on a court other than centre court in forever. But at the same time she gets a pretty simple win. Sounds like a deal to me.

Still a fantastic run by Shahar. I’m having trouble deciding if it’s a tears of joy “I overcame adversity” kind of thing or a big ole “fuck you, see, I can play. Assholes.” I’m gonna go with the last one. Should be a huge boost to Shahar’s ranking, as well as a huge boost to her wallet. Ownage.

Holy. Third set tiebreak, one hell of a match, and Nalby just squeaks one out by the skin of his teeth. It really is so different seeing a grind of a match on clay than hard courts, I think we often forget. Hard courts, for the men anyway, is all about big blows, big serves, big demoralizing forehand winners. Clay is just chipping away at your opponent, in rallies, in games, mentally. Once again, welcome back Workhorse Dave, you put on a hell of a show and the crowd loved every minute of it.

Sorry of my lack of updates outside of, well, Dubai and Nalby basically. I’ve been busy with the Olympics, as I hope you have been. Not to mention the lack of streams for Memphis has naturally left me with nothing interesting to say about it. Let’s take at some draws, shall we?

Memphis ATP… CURLS UNITE. Why hello Ernie. Beating Robert Kendrick, fine, but The Sex? Ah yeah. 20 aces, served 69% and won 80% of the points off his first serve. I’m feeling like this is a good combonation of stats. Really kind of hoping Tree/Ivo happens, because that will just be ridiculous. Dick’s stock continues to fall as he barely outlasts Lames in a third set tiebreak. Berd’s also in it, and will take on Ernie in the quarters if he wins.

Memphis WTA… Masha/Mel rematch please and thank you. That is all.

Marseille… that’s a whole lot of Frenchies! Poor Gilles dropped out and we don’t get to see Jo/Gilles, but we’ll likely see Julien/Gael with the winner playing Jo. There’s a whole bunch of random Frenchies up top too, though Sod continues to have a pretty solid path to the final.

Buenos Aires… How about JCF? You so bossy. The guy has lost 9 games in 2 matches, a solid result regardless of who you’re playing. Whether or not Montanes is a winnable match for Nalby remains to be seen. Winnable probably, will he win it? Fitness might have a lot to do with it, which could be a good or a bad thing for Nalby. Ah, so exciting having no idea. How’s about Ferru/Nalby and Pico/JCF semis? Yes please.

Vika: “Marching forth into the unkown, Charlie’s Angels slipped into the darkness to… guys… guys make the face! Come on!”

Told you she was a gypsy. Cause you know, that seems like something they would have.

“Ha, ooohhh nooooo.”

Everyone say hello to the new owner of Bepa’s Bagel Factory… um… what’s her name again?

“Haha, youuu guysss, guysss… I’m bomb you-r country… hahaha oh my goooodness.”

OK sure, they her in… but she’s totally gone wild. She wasn’t ever supposed to win something significant, let alone make the quarterfinals, upsetting the top seed. Shahar is totally defying the odds in Dubai… and it never felt so good.

As for Caro, she’s having one hell of a time with the big bashers. She had a solid match against Domi, winning the first set, being down 1-5 in the second, and coming back to force a tiebreak and take it. And realistically, she might have just lost to Nails in the next round (naturally, Shahar’s next opponent.) But a pretty disappointing start to the year, realistically.

Lena was forced to retire in the second set against Dani with a shoulder injury. Here’s hoping she’s really just exhausted or hurting from a full week of tennis in Paris, and then travelling. Tough to really know.

Add it to the pile, add it to the pile. It was the third retirement or walkover of the day and the 325781935th of the year.