Don’t mess with the Russians, y’all. Sorry, Dina..ra. I’ve pretty well called you said evil name in… oh… every blog post or Tweet ever referencing you. So you know, not very often. We’ve gotta get you a real nickname, don’t we? I’ll get working on that. Unfortunately, my blog tag for you is “Dina” and there’s no way to switch it over so all my old posts can get a new tag. So uh, yeah, that’s gotta stay.

Oh, and I told her to get Marat on Twitter, and she replied: “i dont think he will be into it!!!!” Pssh. Ah well. Welcome to Twitter, girlie. It just got a whole lot awesomer.

And once again sorry about the lack of posting. Stupid year end exams. They really shouldn’t exist. Last two are tomorrow and Friday and it’s freedom for four months. Hells yeah.

I can’t even keep track. Gonzo is out of Rome with a knee problem, Nalby is out with a hamstring problem, T-Rob is out with a back problem.

Oh, and Delpo is still out. So is Kolya. And Gilles. And Ivo and HausSauce. Dick doesn’t want to play. And Radek still REALLY doesn’t want to play. Needless to say, your tennis pool team may need a little readjusting. Edit: Oh yeah, Gael is still out too I think.

As for the women, JuJu has effed up her pinkie finger on her left hand, though that’s totally fine, cause of the one handed backhand. She’s missing Fed Cup anyway She’s playing doubles but not singles (thanks @Ataraxis00), and tweeps are telling me she’s still in Stuttgart. Don’t even bother asking me who’s hurt on the women’s side, because from what I’ve heard, there’s only 3 top 10 players in solid condition. So uh, go Superhero go.

And sorry about the lack of posting or “The Week Ahead”… but seriously, a 500 tourney and Fed Cup. Plus I’m just finishing up exams and blah blah. Will be lots to come leading up into next week.

This whole thing is so damn stupid it doesn’t even deserve a picture, so screw that.

Wayne Odesnik has accepted a volunteer suspension for his doping case, ideally until he his taken to trial. This is so out of control.

As I have previously said regarding this, it sounded like the ITF basically asked him if he wanted to start a suspension, or go to trial (even though he pleaded guilty). Naturally, like any smart person would do, he picked the trial. However, what annoyed everyone was the HEAPING GAP left by the ATP for Wayne to play Houston. Thank God they’ve heard the cries of players and the fans to have him out until his trial takes place.

Except not. The suspension is voluntary (“hey Wayne, people are pissed… so uh… if you could just go ahead and NOT play… yeah, that would be great) and he could start playing again at any time. For a sport that is beginning to get known for it’s ridiculous with the doping whereabouts rules, this entire thing is a huge embarassment.

Q. The memory of this tournament is very fresh, of course. But out of the six Monte Carlo tournaments, is there one that sticks more than the others for you? The first because it was the first, or others?
RAFAEL NADAL: I don’t know. Every one is really important, no? Every Monte Carlo is special, no?

Q. When you beat Federer, there is more…
RAFAEL NADAL: No. First time, was first Masters Series for me, and first Monte Carlo at the same time was a dream for me, no? Winning Monte Carlo, I always saw Monte Carlo on the TV. So like I win very important thing, no?
After that, the beginning I played against Federer. I didn’t expect to win. But I played against the No. 1. I didn’t feel favorite, so was emotional to win.
And, for sure this year is really special for me, one of the most special, because I had little bit hard time for the last year. Well, little bit more than a year. To win here is like, I don’t know, very emotional for me, very special.

When you beat Fed there is more? Maybe, at that time, but come on now. It sort of takes away from the fact that 6 is just down right insanity. Regardless.

And really just a great quote from Rafa, acknowledging the crap he’s gone through over the past year. Monte Carlo was almost a bit of a homecoming. Great to see.

An absolute forehand clinic from the new Queen Of Fungus Clay (oh come on, it has a ring to it!) to take out the Queen Of Headcases in straights, 6-0, 6-3. Another thousand forehand winners made the difference, and Sam pushed a frustrated Bepa into oblivion.

I think the really great thing for Sam comes out of her doubles. She can hammer the forehands, sure, but she’s also totally comfortable coming part way, or fully to net (unlike some players *cough* Caro) in which she can then easily finish points off. Oh, and the movement and serving ain’t bad either. Girl’s got the tools.

Sure, she can be wild or lose focus, but when she’s on, that’s one tough cookie to crack. Whatever that means. Here’s hoping she can use the movement to have a solid clay season.

Move over Pico, that throne has someone’s name on it.

There’s not much to say. The stats speak for themselves. 14 games in 5 matches, the least he’s ever lost to win a title. The first man to win any tournament 6 straight times. His ten zillionth clay title (that’s the actual amount).

If you watched it, the match said all it needed to. Insane winners from insane angles. Getting back seemingly every ball. Fer getting on his knees and thanking Sven for finally winning a long point. 6-0, 6-1.

Rafa, you are a clay god among mortals. I look forward to you decimating the weak over the next month.

Superhero Sam took care of business in a BIG way against Dani today. Near the end of the third set she had doubled up on Dani’s forehand winners, 32 to 16, and she hit at least 4 more (likely more) to my memory by the end of the straights set win. In other words, she had almost FORTY forehand winners all match. That’s what aggressive will get you.

For serious, I saw Sam live last year and was hella impressed, and her decision to really focus on singles was a positive one, I thought. It’s taken some time, but I think she’s starting to hit the groove. With the power in her forehand, and the spin she’s able to put on the ball, she really SHOULD be a top 10 player and damn well deserves it. She’ll take on Bepa tomorrow in the final. Hold on to your hats, there’s gonna be some big time hitting.

Really unfortunate ending to the first semifinal in Charleston. Caro was having troubles, and after an insane, crazy point, (in which Caro had already tracked down a drop shot and lob) Caro traced down a drop shot, and at the very end of her slide, she rolled her ankle. Badly. Thanks to Open Court for the shots:

According to her, she heard something snap. She tried to come back on court, but it didn’t last long and she was forced to retire. Not good. Was nice to see Bepa being sympathetic, as she had the ankle roll last year and it was terrible. Hopefully it’s not as bad for Caro, with Madrid finals points to defend. And, well, she plays every effing week, so there’s probably lots of points everywhere to defend.

For the first time in Monte Carlo’s zillion year history, they had 3 Spaniards in the final 4. Well go figure, we’ve got ourselves an all Spanish final. One to be expected, the other, maybe not so much.

Rafa did business as expected against Ferru, who played well. All you can do is think to yourself “how could this guy ever lose on clay?… Oh wait.”

Fergasm actually lost fewer games to a tired, unconvincing Nole, who was not moving well enough for a win. Fer, on the other hand, was pushing like he can, keeping the ball in, and looking pretty mentally tough. I wouldn’t be surprised if he gives Rafa a legit fight. Doubt he can beat him, but hey. This is the first Masters final for Fer. Should be a good one.

OK fine. I haven’t watched much of Charleston or Barcelona this week. In fact, I’ve watched so little that it’s not even worth mentioning. But here’s what’s up.

Superhero Sam continues working the mojo, and makes the semis after knocking our Peng 4 and 1. JJ continues working the ridiculousness and loses to Dani in 3. And Dani actually smiled. On court. Scary.

Caro took out Nads in style, and Bepa just took the first set off Mel. Now you know.

The Barcelona final is Franny and Vinci, who is having herself a fine little start to the clay season.