Holy. Third set tiebreak, one hell of a match, and Nalby just squeaks one out by the skin of his teeth. It really is so different seeing a grind of a match on clay than hard courts, I think we often forget. Hard courts, for the men anyway, is all about big blows, big serves, big demoralizing forehand winners. Clay is just chipping away at your opponent, in rallies, in games, mentally. Once again, welcome back Workhorse Dave, you put on a hell of a show and the crowd loved every minute of it.

Sorry of my lack of updates outside of, well, Dubai and Nalby basically. I’ve been busy with the Olympics, as I hope you have been. Not to mention the lack of streams for Memphis has naturally left me with nothing interesting to say about it. Let’s take at some draws, shall we?

Memphis ATP… CURLS UNITE. Why hello Ernie. Beating Robert Kendrick, fine, but The Sex? Ah yeah. 20 aces, served 69% and won 80% of the points off his first serve. I’m feeling like this is a good combonation of stats. Really kind of hoping Tree/Ivo happens, because that will just be ridiculous. Dick’s stock continues to fall as he barely outlasts Lames in a third set tiebreak. Berd’s also in it, and will take on Ernie in the quarters if he wins.

Memphis WTA… Masha/Mel rematch please and thank you. That is all.

Marseille… that’s a whole lot of Frenchies! Poor Gilles dropped out and we don’t get to see Jo/Gilles, but we’ll likely see Julien/Gael with the winner playing Jo. There’s a whole bunch of random Frenchies up top too, though Sod continues to have a pretty solid path to the final.

Buenos Aires… How about JCF? You so bossy. The guy has lost 9 games in 2 matches, a solid result regardless of who you’re playing. Whether or not Montanes is a winnable match for Nalby remains to be seen. Winnable probably, will he win it? Fitness might have a lot to do with it, which could be a good or a bad thing for Nalby. Ah, so exciting having no idea. How’s about Ferru/Nalby and Pico/JCF semis? Yes please.

Ain’t no party like a WTA part-ay!

Vika: “Marching forth into the unkown, Charlie’s Angels slipped into the darkness to… guys… guys make the face! Come on!”

Told you she was a gypsy. Cause you know, that seems like something they would have.

“Ha, ooohhh nooooo.”

Everyone say hello to the new owner of Bepa’s Bagel Factory… um… what’s her name again?

“Haha, youuu guysss, guysss… I’m bomb you-r country… hahaha oh my goooodness.”

OK sure, they her in… but she’s totally gone wild. She wasn’t ever supposed to win something significant, let alone make the quarterfinals, upsetting the top seed. Shahar is totally defying the odds in Dubai… and it never felt so good.

As for Caro, she’s having one hell of a time with the big bashers. She had a solid match against Domi, winning the first set, being down 1-5 in the second, and coming back to force a tiebreak and take it. And realistically, she might have just lost to Nails in the next round (naturally, Shahar’s next opponent.) But a pretty disappointing start to the year, realistically.

Headbandian won his first competitive match since Indian Wells of LAST YEAR (after dropping 5 match points to Rafa, if you remember that one) beating Potato Starchild in home Argentina, 6-2, 7-6(2). Holy hell Dave, it’s been a while.

Lena was forced to retire in the second set against Dani with a shoulder injury. Here’s hoping she’s really just exhausted or hurting from a full week of tennis in Paris, and then travelling. Tough to really know.

Add it to the pile, add it to the pile. It was the third retirement or walkover of the day and the 325781935th of the year.

Ain’t that right kids? Holla!

Sabine came out firing against Venus in the first night match, and holy crap girl. It’s really too bad that she lost, the scoreline (2 and 3 for Vee) doesn’t do just to how great of a match it was. Sabine hit about a thousand cross court forehand winners, however Vee was just too consistent and was able to push Sabine around the court when she needed to to save break points. Even after Sabine broke back in the second set (after a ridiculously awesome point) Venus got pissed and started spanking the ball to get it right back and then close out the match.

Oddly enough, it was the most consistent I’ve seen Venus, and maybe even Sabine, play in a while. The errors were way down, and while Beanie Baby did have her usual errors, she was agressive and was hitting a crapton of winners. Great to see. She’s damn close to really breaking through in one of these tournaments.

In other news, Caro brought the sexy(hitface)back with a straights win over Domi. More injures, AMG handing a walkover to Kuz with a lower back injury, and K-Bond retiring against Vika who was up 4-1.

Most seeds won, including Nails and JJ surviving MJMS and Aravane in 3 respectively, Bepa double bagelling Flipkens, and Flavs and Mono both won. Franny lost to Govortsova, and Shahar knocked out last year’s finalist Gypsy 2 and 2. Lena and Dani are just getting underway now.

Full action got underway today in Dubai, and, well… the demographic mindfuck that are these UAE tournies really got going. And go figure, they let Shahar in, and she gets an upset in her first match, taking out a struggling Wicky in three sets. Good on ya girl.

Speaking of upsets, Superhero Sam continues to be having trouble with this “singles only” thing, losing to Grammy Garbin in the first round. Dude, she was just playing the Pattaya City final for God sakes. Start playing doubles again… especially if you plan on making any sort of regular income.

Flavs czunk Czink in straights, Bepa took out Vezzie in three, AMG, Aravane, Gypsy, MJMS, and Domi all won. Nads was dinged out in two tiebreaks to Voegele.

Nando’s got the mojo going, with his first win over a top 10 player in forever, since AO 09 over Muzz, and losing his last 15. He got the break late in the third set against Dick and closed it out.

I’ve got to say, from the little I’ve seen of Dick this year, he seems a bit too content to just try to pull Ivos, in other words serve huge, hope for errors on return games to break, and otherwise take sets in tiebreaks, which is NOT how he was playing last year.

Still, mad props for Nando, who has been pretty solid this year and will need wins like this to get confidence and start putting the pressure on the top 10 and specifically the top 5.

Oh, and Boss slaughtered in Brazil, dropping a game in the final. And he got that trophy, which looks like it might have been left in the oven for a little too long.

Rafa doesn’t care about being number one, and Rafa will probably win a slam this year, because everyone was a meanie to him last year when he didn’t, but he pulled through and got one.

“The first moment when I became number one in the world was six years ago now and it was a magical moment in my career,” Federer said. “It was pretty special and I always wanted to get back there.

“Some people have that drive more than others who’ve been number one. Rafa doesn’t seem like he cares as much for number one, or he doesn’t show it.”

“He had a good start to the season,” Federer said. “What he’s going through is very similar to what I went through last year. Just because you don’t win a Major they start picking on you. I’m convinced he will come back shortly.”

How is it “very similar”? Rafa didn’t win AO this year, Fed didn’t win AO last year. That’s where it ends. Rafa is hurt. Fed lost it BECAUSE of Rafa. So the press is picking on Rafa cause he hasn’t won a slam this year… because he’s injured? But how nice of Fed to show empathy, cause he sure knows what it’s like. Asshole.

Women – Dubai (Premier 5)

Official Site: Here
Draw: Here
Top Seeds: Caro, Kuz, Venus, Vika

Really solid draws for the top 4 ladies, save for possibly Caro, who has Nails in her quarter, the only player she’s lost to this year. Venus has Sabine in her first match, and a potentially tired Lena in the quarters. Could be tough, could be easy. Chance for Sabine to make a solid break through. Love Vika’s draw, Bepa or JJ in the quarters, both who are easily beatable for her, realistically.

As for some dark horses, don’t mind Sabine, though she sucked last year. As well in that quarter is Sam, who could start putting together solid results. I might have been tempted to say Kiri, but she already lost 3 and 0. Nails is a great idea considering Caro’s problems with her, and Flavs in the fourth quarter isn’t a bad idea either. If you’re talking pool, take a solid look at it. There’s some great players (like Aravane) damn close to a whole bunch of top players, which could upset your top players, or be good investments to make an upset or two and grab you some points.

Joint – Memphis (500 and International)`

Official Site: Here
Draws: Men & Women
Top Men Seeds: Dick, Nando, The Sex, HaasSauce
Top Women Seeds: Masha, Mel, Kanepi, Hradecka

Draw for the men isn’t a whole ton different than last week. Dick, Nando, The Sex and T-Haas are the top seeds once again. I absolutely love Tree for this draw however, he has a chance to do serious damage and I would be surprised to not see him in the semis, considering his awesome start to the year. Um, yeah, pretty boring draw considering it’s nearly the exact same as San Jose and it’s a 500 tourney and there’s no one there.

For the women, Masha has one hell of a draw, and may be out for blood after the epic failure of the AO. Second seed is Mel, who has proven the USO wasn’t a fluke, and also has a great draw, and really isn’t a bad idea either. Otherwise, I’m skipping this one for the points at Dubai.

Men – Marseille (250)

Official Site: Here
Draw: Here
Top Seeds: Sod, Jo, Gael, T-Rob

Everyone who picked Sod for Rotterdam will feel like a genius with this draw, as Muzz is out and Sod is indeed the top seed. I’m afraid to even touch this draw. Gilles is in Jo’s quarter, no idea how either of those guys are. Gael is back at it… and Youz, who is injured… but how injured? Hell if I know. This has a way better draw than Memphis, and it’s 250. So go crazy.

Men – Buenos Aires (250)

Official Site: Here
Draw: Here
Top Seeds: Ferru, JCF, Almagro, Pico

Claaaaaayyyyyy. Interesting notes, Nalby makes his return at home, and Richie continues to be a solid pick for how cheap he is. I don’t mind Pico here, but I don’t mind Pico any time of the day, so that’s a biased and pointless choice. JCF coming off a solid week ain’t bad either, and of course Ferru loves the clay. Otherwise I wouldn’t bother much with anyone outside of the top 4 seeds and Richie.

Women – Bogota

Official Site: Here
Draw: Here (click Draws)
Top Seeds: Dulkbag, CSN, Errani, Hercog (wut?)

Um… this exists? The WTA has two other tournaments going on when there’s a Premier 5 going on… um, ok. This tourney is lame. That is all.

Tennis pool points not fully updated yet, but here’s where we’re sitting right now for the top 10:

1 ally_r (managed by Alison) 9567
2 Dogtown (managed by Tracey) 9310
3 repoman13 (managed by Miguel) 9301
4 eastcoast (managed by Renee) 9203
5 AnaTennisGirl (managed by Ana) 9167
6 downtwo22 (managed by Joe) 8931
7 phillies07_08 (managed by Brian) 8795
8 MindTheRacket (managed by Brodie) 8510
9 RagingBitch (managed by Jills) 8492
10 Becky2705 (managed by Rebecca) 8087