Well hello. Guess who else is releasing an autobiography?

The book is said to be released in the late 2010 or early 2011 and will contain some “unusual stories” from his time on tour. He was quick to explain that we shouldn’t expect any Agassi-like admittance. When asked about his career ending too soon the resident of Florianopolis had this to say.

“The best years were in front of me, I had to leave before my time. It’s obvious that I would be still able to play on top level. I missed my best years.”

Ah, Guga. One of my favourites from when I was just a wee one. I remember his totally whacktastic French Open win back in ’97… and I would have been 7 when that happened, so there you go. Ever since then, he’s been my shining beacon of epic, unattainable hair, so here’s hoping he doesn’t pull an Andre and tell us its been a wig the whole time. Will probably be worth a read, I would think.

Sucks to be these guys.

Serbia has announced, not surprisingly, that their opening round tie against the US will take place on indoor clay, at the 20,000 seat Belgrade arena. Of course, Nole absolutely tore up the clay court season this year (other than that whole grand slam one) and Dick and Blah absolutely LOVE clay courts so… its probably not going to be very close. Not sure who else is going for Serbia, my guess would be Janko, but the idea would be that Nole would take his matches and then they only need a win out of Janko (dubs is tough with the Bry bros going). Sorry Americans, but until you learn how to play on the dirt, it looks like you’re in tough once again.

In totally unrelated news, Nalby has made a special point of wanting to compete in Davis Cup as a part of his 2010 return. So hopefully the dynamic duo of bombers Elf and Nalby can tear some shit up (sorry Pico. But you’ll make a pretty cheerleader, a role with usually less crying too). I can’t believe I’m actually hyping Davis Cup in December, I clearly am a bit deprived.

Davis Cup draw is here. Look at that top half. Spain/France quarter with the winner to play Argentina/Russia winner? Juicy. And here‘s the locations for the first round.

Just a day after being given the green light to get her season planning going, Wicky took a wildcard into the ASB Classic in Auckland. Other names include Flavs, Nails, Franny and Gypsy. A round of Heineken on me!

So TOTALLY stealing FD Podcast’s idea on the “if players were stock, who would you buy, and who would you sell, going into 2010?”. I’m going to consider game improvement and achievement for next year, and not necessarily rankings, though one would assume that would go up as well. Going to do 3 for the men and the women. Feel free to call me a moron. Oh, and buy Justine and Kim. Duh.

Buy – Ana Ivanovic
What is there to say? If you’re Ana, the good news is that you can’t possibly have a worse year than you did last year, considering the often easy draws you got from an inflated ranking. The bad news is, you’re no longer in the top 20, and now have something to prove… which in turn is probably good news for us Ana fans. The French Open is her only slam, but she had years of success before that, it wasn’t a fluke. We all know she has the game to climb back to the top and become a contender, and considering this is her lowest ranking in about forever, buy.

Sell – Venus Williams
True, for any other player, it would have been a fantastic year. But interestingly, she (and Vika) only played 17 tournaments (one less than Serena, two less than Dina… 9 less than Caro…) and she had some pretty strange fails, like losing in the second round at AO after being up 5-2 in the third, and to K-Bond in Toronto. Sure, she made Wimbley final, has never been great on clay, and lost to eventual champ Kim at the USO… but she also turns 30 next June, and is pretty well no longer a slam contender other than Wimbledon. She’ll likely be around for a few more years, and still has great, top 10 stuff, but I’d look to sell as inconsistencies start to settle in.

Buy – Alize Cornet
For a player who had such an impressive 2008, its hard to believe that the Trumpet will be having a 2010 that’s anywhere close to 2009. After a fourth round loss at the AO to Dina, in an insane match that she could and should have won, she could only make it as far as the third round, once, in any other major tournament (being Miami, only taking 4 games off JZ). And she finished 2009 up ranked 50th. Jesus. She’s still young and has SOME promise, somewhere in her. Surely. If you’re in a gambling mood, buy, possibly even buy big.

Sell – Flavia Pennetta
Yeah, I know. I floves Flavs too. And I know, we all want a piece of that. But at the same time… a player who has her break out year at 27? She finished the year at 12th spot, and will be 28 in February. I’d love for her to keep rocking it, but something tells me she might not be hanging around the top 10 for that much longer, so it might be a good idea to sell. (Thanks to Steph from FD for the epic pic).

Buy – Sam Stosur
After having health problems and 2008, and being a mainstay contender in doubles, Superhero has decided she’s going to mainly focus on singles in 2010, and looking at her results in 2009, who can blame her? I got a chance to see her beat Kuz in Toronto, and then beat Gypsy 6-3, 6-1, in what was one of the biggest dominations I saw all year. Gypsy was powerless against Sam’s power, and when she would start to come in, Superhero would beast backhands cross-court, forehands down the line or cross-court. And then when it seemed like Gypsy might be on to something, Sam would just come to the net and start volleying the shit out of everything, and as I’ve noted many a time, all Gypsy could do was curse at the sky. Sure, it was just one match (two including the Kuz ownage). But at the same time, seeing that live, and the frustration it was causing Gypsy, the sheer power and variety in her game, whether to bash baseline or volley at the net… she finished the year at 13, and don’t be surprised if she breaks the top 10 this year.

Sell – Elena Dementieva
Perhaps I’m cheating a bit again, playing the “age card”… but yes, Lena had a solid year, winning the clusterfuck that was Toronto, and nearly making it to the Wimbledon final. But seeing her play this year just seemed endlessly frustrating, and most seem to think her chance at winning a slam is gone. Not that this is just about winning a slam, but its hard to see Lena’s game or ranking climbing much higher than it is now, and it wouldn’t be surprising to see the inconsistencies, frustrations, and earlier round loses come in more often over the next year or two.

Well then. The Reeshman has officially been sent back into the wild by the CAS.

French tennis player Richard Gasquet was cleared of any wrongdoing Thursday when the Court of Arbitration for Sport accepted his claim that he tested positive for cocaine by kissing a woman in a nightclub.

The CAS dismissed appeals by the World Anti-Doping Agency and International Tennis Federation, which wanted Gasquet banned for up to two years.

“It was impossible for the player, even when exercising the utmost caution, to know that in kissing a woman who he had met in a totally unsuspicious environment, he could be contaminated with cocaine,” the court said in a statement.

Ha, love the last part. Who knew that a girl in a Miami night club could be doing coke? Its such an “unsuspicious environment”, obviously everyone in there is of a completely “unsuspicious” mind. Spot on, CAS. And welcome back (for realisies) Richard.

Of headbands. Move over Queen Maria, and your phony silver Nike ones.

He destroyed Massu 2 and 1 and then Gaudio 2 and 2… for what its worth. He’ll be playing Auckland and adding him into the AO will be good times. The women’s is a total clusterfuck, and the men’s, now with Elf, the threat of Dick and Kolya… and now a “whataboutNalby?” question… fun, fun.

Oh, and at 33, Carlos Moya is coming back from hip surgery as well. So uh, good luck with that, big guy.

ST. PETERSBURG, FL, USA – Tennis isn’t the only sport Vera Zvonareva has been enjoying lately. Last Monday, December 7, the Sony Ericsson WTA Tour’s No.9-ranked player was invited to watch Alex Ovechkin and the Washington Capitals play the Tampa Bay Lightning at the St. Pete Times Forum.

Zvonareva attended the game sitting center ice, then spent some time visiting with Ovechkin and fellow Russian players from the Capitals, Alexander Semin and Semyon Varlamov.

Um, make this happen WTA. She got an invite? I have no idea if Mr. Ovechkin is currently with anyone, but methinks the uber-competitive hockey star could use a Russian headcase in his life. Couldn’t we all? Yes. The answer is yes.

She also has a new Facebook page here And she’s wearing this, guess she’s rocking it for next year? I’m diggin’ it. Yummy.

Well, someone’s angry.

I know, I know. The incident was forever ago, and we’ve moved on. But the ITF is… well, slow, and haven’t. And Serena needed to vent. So here’s the whole thing, for those who haven’t read it, because like most things Serena does or says, its entertaining:

Hey Guys!
As the world seems to know or for those who don’t I want to speak about my recently dubbed “outburst” and how I feel.

I have recently been fined by the Grand Slam Committee of the ITF (International Tennis Federation) over 82 thousand dollars for getting mad and using the “F-bomb” at a line Judge.

To clear things up FIRST I was NOT fined 82 thousand dollars. I was fined 92 thousand dollars! I paid 10 thousand dollars on site immediately after the U. S. Open. So for the record, I was fined $92,000 not $82,000! The biggest fine EVER in tennis.

Also for all those that don’t know, I felt incredibly bad, and miserable for losing my cool, and most importantly not representing the person I really am spiritually and the role model I want to be to my young fans. I have been a very feisty player all my life, but when the time came for me to be calm and cool, I did not exercise a mild temper. How I regret not being a better role model and person to all of my fans. I apologized to my fans and even wrote a personal letter to the lines woman with my apologies. She understood as she often witnesses this as it is not uncommon in my sport, or any other sport. She was extremely supportive and said that she did not think any further actions should be taken against me.

A few years ago in a most important match being watched my millions; I was blatantly cheated and robbed of a US Open title by yet another official. I was again on the wrong side of not one or two, but several other bad calls. This incident however changed tennis. Because of what was incorrectly done to me, the whole sport of tennis adapted new technology for a player to challenge the calls lines persons make if the player feels they were wronged. I was expected to take solace in the fact even though I lost the U.S Open title (a dream I’ve been working for since I was 2 years old). At least others won’t be wronged in the future. I am always happy for the next person. I always am. I received apologies from the USTA, the Lines Official, and the Head of the US Open. However I don’t recall EVER receiving a note, a phone call, a letter even a text from anyone at the Grand Slam Committee ITF apologizing about the wrong and disastrous call one of THEIR officials made.

When I was a teenager I was booed by an entire packed stadium at Indian Wells. In my new book “On the line” I talk about how I remember crying on every changeover in the towel. Praying and wishing I could lose and the match would just be done with. When the match was over I thanked the crowd those that cheered for me, and even those that did not. Looking back I am still amazed how I remained so calm and positive, and even managed to come out on top.

The fact is every professional athlete gets wronged in one way or another. And every athlete gets upset. We have been working, sacrificing, missing out on numerous things, things we will never get back or experience for the sake of our careers. For the sake of that one moment in time where we have a chance to shine through.

Imagine for 20 years working day in, day out, sacrificing on countless things to get this job, that will make all your hard work and endless efforts worthwhile. Try to imagine having that promotion in one moment being taken away from you because of a slight over sight, by someone overseeing your work. 20 years gone away. Time to start over, dust yourself off and try again. You work harder make positive changes. It happens again.

“Dust yourself off” you say. “Try again”

You do just that. You work even harder than before, spend longer hours. Then it happens yet again. Another slight oversight.

Well this is what happened to me, and to be honest I believe I reached my boiling point. After yet ANOTHER wrong call I began to wonder- Was I being “overlooked” or wrongly judged on purpose!??? Is this being done to keep me from achieving my best? Why does this keep happening at the same place?

Throughout my career I have remained calm. But I guess I finally reached my breaking point. A point I should have never allowed myself to get to. Everything seemed to have surfaced. As you know, losing my cool cost me over 92 thousand dollars. 92 thousand dollars! This is more than most people make in a year. 92 thousand dollars! Answer this: Why is it another player who also lost HIS cool not to a line judge – like I did – but to the main officiating judge- using the same “f word” why was HE only fined 10 thousand dollars. Was what I did 10 times worse than what he did?!

There is another HE who was fined less than half of what I was fined after someone in his camp actually physically ATTACKED an official!!!!

What about the famous HE who made arguing with officials “cool”. Cool for “MEN” I guess.
Is it because they are all HE’s and not a SHE like me?

It is indeed a massive difference. Being American I guess the 1st amendment, freedom of speech, does not apply to a SHE in this case? In any event the Grand Slam Committee, ITF and its staff did not hesitate to call, send a note, text, nor write letters after this incident. Ironic is it not?

I don’t mind being fined. If I did wrong I accept the repercussions. All I ask for is to be treated equal.

When I was fined the 92K, I asked to see if I could donate some of it to different schools, and programs I’m involved in. My request was denied. So, I decided to match the fine by raising money and donating an additional 92K to my 2nd school that I am opening up in Africa, as well as to schools that I am helping here in the United States. I also want to educate women about what I learned from this whole experience. How we as women are still treated as less than equal. I am going to turn this 92K into a positive!!! And I have decided to call it Serena’s 92K mission!!! Go to Serenawilliams.com to learn more about my 92K mission.

The whole last part is… strange. The part on the fact that some people make less than 92 thousand a year seems to be the insane irony of it all. As Matt Cronin pointed out, Tarango’s fine was a much greater sum of his annual earnings. Serena made 24 million this year, and who knows what else from HSN, sponsors, and “my new book “On the line” I talk about”… I still can’t believe she found a way to work that in, I mean really. And yes, Fed dropped the f-bomb, but something tells me they don’t really give a fuck that he said “fuck”, and it had a lot more to do with it being shown on TV and ruining the lives of innocent children everywhere.

Oh, and Serena, you also threatened to shove a ball down her throat. And if you want to talk gender based issues, I’d sure as hell be more scared of you threatening me than Fed. Or like, anyone. And you sure as hell aint no man. Anyway, make of it what you will, we can at least all go back, watch it on youtube again, and have a good chuckle. I still remember after the first foot fault, when she stared her down, and my mom “hunny, give it up”. And then after the freak out “oh COME ON”. Ah, classic.

Le sigh. Guess who has pulled out of Brisbane? Of course big back problems in Doha leaving a lot of questions going into next year, and this is not a good sign. Hopefully she can get things together for AO, obviously, cause she’s got shit to prove, and a lot of points to defend.

We still have Kim, Justine, Ana, JJ, and JD for the tournament, which starts January 3rd… yes, JANUARY 3RD.

Essays. Are. OVA. Damn straight people, my full fledged return to the universe is just… oh right, its the offseason. As I’ve noted before, that won’t save me from being busy, all my posts will come that I outlined in the earlier one, and I’m going to be making my second appearance on the FD Podcast next week, so check in for that. So yes, regular blogging activities will now resume to keep myself and hopefully you people interested and occupied, as I sum up last year and look ahead to the big 2010. And because my schedule next term is both better in course load, and class times (lots of huge breaks), don’t expect MTR be down any time in the near future!

As the season comes to an end, I’d just like to thank you all for reading, once again. Its really been a great run. Readership has gone up considerably since I started, there’s now over 20 subscribers to the RSS feed, and with an upgrade into legit blog territory coming sometime this month, I can’t wait for January and the whole of next year! Bring it on.