They actually had a fucking mountie there? Us Ontarians have our own provincial police, that’s… completely unnecessary. We are a strange folk, indeed.

Tournaments Won in 2009: Rogers Cup (Toronto), Medibank International (Sydney), ASB Classic (Auckland)
Ranking Points as of October 19: 5415

The Land of Oz and American Hard Stuff

Lena made an incredibly to start the year and be considered a contender for the Australian, winning Auckland, and then Sydney, beating ReRe in the semis and Dina in the final. Unfortunately, she ran into a hot Serena at AO and lost to her in the semis. She lost in the final of Paris to Momes, but that was obviously fine. IW and Miami proved a bit of a problem, losing in the second round to Petra Cetkovska (who? Totally forgot about that) and Caro in the fourth round of Miami (pretty awesome match, that one). She also lost to Caro in the semis of Charleston.

Gettin’ Dirty

In Stuttgart she lost to Kuzonator in the semis, oddly enough didn’t play Rome, and lost to Momes once again in the third round of Madrid. The French proved to be a problem, running into a confident Sammy Superhero in the third round and losing in three.

High On Grass

Lena and grass, painful memories y’all. First off, lost in the second round of Eastbourne to eventual finalist Gypsy. And then, of course, at Wimbledon, took Serena to a third set, in yes, one of the best women’s matches of hte year, no doubt… and lost 6-8 in the third set, after blowing a match trying to go cross court on a ReRe who was awkwardly at the net. Safe to say, that was the only one she got all match. Le sigh.

Hard For America

Much like in Australia, Lena had an incredibly impressive run up to the USO (I’m noticing a trend here…) starting out with a semi berth against Venus in Stanford (where she actually only won one game…) and then making the semis of Cincy, losing to JJ in a third set tiebreak where she blew… two? Three match points? It was painful. And then, rather impressively she went on to win Toronto (the last two matches of hers I didn’t even see because I was at camp), especially because I saw her third round match against Shahar, where she ate a breadstick in the second and just managed to hang in there to pull out the third. She beat Masha in the final. She then of course fell to Melanie the Russian Slayer in the second round of the USO in three long sets.

Asia And Beyond

Like most, only the two tournaments after New York, Tokyo (second round to K-Bond) and Beijing (quarterfinals to the Iron Chef). Lena has had impressive results on hard courts this year, including beating some big name players, we’ll see if she can convert that into positive results in Doha.

Tournaments Won in 2009: Brisbane International (Brisbane), Regions Morgan Keegan Championships (Memphis), Sony Ericsson Open (Miami)
Ranking Points as of October 19: 4451

The Land of Oz and American Hard Stuff

Vika’s season got off to a fantastic start and she quickly established herself as a player to watch in 2009 and the coming years. She won her first tournament of the year, Brisbane, over Mono, and in the fourth round of the Australian took the first set off of eventual champ Serena until she unfortunately had to retire in the second set at 2-4. Not long after she won her second tournament of the year, beating top seed Caro in Memphis. Her real breakout was in Miami however, topping an injured Serena in the final.

Gettin’ Dirty

An overall solid clay season, she fell in the second round of Stuttgart to Dulkbag, but made the semis of Rome and the third round of Madrid, losing to the Kuzonator and Agi Szavay respectively. At the French she lost to Dinara in the quarters in three sets.

High On Grass

Her only grass tournament was Wimbley, where she knocked out Banana and Nads on her way to a loss in the quarters against champion Serena.

Hard For America

Unfortunately for Vika, she ran into some big names in early rounds in the American hard court season, losing to Masha in the second round of LA and then JJ in the third round of Cincy. In Toronto, she fell to Kim in three sets in the third round (a match I was at, sorry Vika fans, it was awesome). In the USO, she was overpowered by Franny in three sets in the third round (that was a pretty fun match, some big time hitting).

Asia and Beyond

The struggles (fatigue?) have continued for Vika, falling in the quarters of Tokyo against Nails, and the second round of Beijing to Masha. She has had a decent amount of rest heading into Doha however, we’ll see if she finish out the year with some heat and some big wins.

Tournaments Won in 2009: Barclays Dubai Tennis Championships (Dubai), Abierto Mexicano Telcel (Acapulco)
Ranking Points as of October 19: 4397

The Land of Oz and American Hard Stuff

Venus’s bumpy year got off to a sort of strange start, as she fell out of the Australian in just the second round, to CSN. She then turned the ship right around and plowed her way through Dubai and Mexico, winning her only two tournaments over Gypsy (remember that run? That was awesome) and Flavs respectively. She once again didn’t play Indian Wells, and had a solid run to the semis in Miami, where she lost to her sister in three. On the fungus clay of Charleston, she was basically outhit, outserved, and outbashed by Sabine Liscki (a bit of a coming out party of sorts) in what was a pretty brilliant match by the kid.

Gettin’ Dirty

Clay has never been a favourite of the sisters, and this year wasn’t much of an exception… I’m actually sort of amazed that I somehow saw nearly all of the three matches that Venus lost on clay this year… anyway, semis of Rome, second round of Madrid, third round of the French, to Dina (gasp!), Kleybs and Agi Szavay.

High On Grass

Once again, the (practically) Queen Of Grass had a solid Wimbledon run to the final, only dropping a single game to Dinara in the fastest Wimbley semi-final ever (sorry to remind you Dina fans) and then losing to her sister in the “I knew I probably shouldn’t have bothered watching that” final.

Hard For America

After making the final of Stanford and losing to Mono (in a pretty entertaining match to be honest) Vee had a pretty unsuccessful hard court season, losing in the third round of Cincy to Flavs, the second round of Toronto to K-Bond (again, my curse) and then of course the fourth round of the US Open in quite likely the most batshit crazy match this year. 0-6, 6-0, 4-6. The first two sets took about 5 minutes each to complete, until a competitive and insanely entertaining third set.

Asia and Beyond

Vee has essentially had zero success since the USO in the only two tournaments she’s played, Tokyo and Beijing, losing in the second round of both to Pavs (yes, both times).

An overall uneven year for Venus, and considering the sisters but a lot of emphasis on the slams, a generally unsuccessful season in that regard.

Here we go folks, the first ever MTR “Incoming WTF” series. Over today and tomorrow I’m going to be counting down the top 8 players heading into Doha AKA YEC (Year End Championships) AKA WTF (World Tennis Final… this may or may not be an official term…). More or less, I’ll split their season into five and give snapshots of how their season has gone. At points I’ll probably comment, at others, might just be a little more cut and dry. I figure this will be a great way to get us all pumped for Doha, as well as give a solid wrap up to the season by taking a check into the top players of the year.

Tournaments Won in 2009: Western & Southern Women’s Open (Cincinnati), Andalucia Tennis Experience (Marbella)
Ranking Points as of October 19: 3555

The Land of Oz and American Hard Stuff

JJ’s first tournament of the year was in fact the first slam, where she headed in as the top seed and number 1 in the world… oh, how things change. The tournament was a bit of a sign of things to come for JJ unfortunately, as she lost in the fourth round to Bartoli in straight sets. She later stated that her training in the off season helped her build muscle, but slowed her down, which was pretty obvious in Australia (and to be honest, she seems a bit more slimmed down now compared to the start of the year). She then traveled to Paris, and was knocked out in the semis by eventual champ Momes. Serious troubles started in Dubai, where she won her first match, and then retired from the tournament. The big two American tournaments (Indian Wells and Miami) were a disaster, where she fell to Pavs and the Dulkbag respectively, both in straights.

Gettin’ Dirty

JJ’s clay season, in hindsight, was the strongest part of her season until after the US Open. She won her first title in Marbella, and then made the quarters of Stuttgart, Rome and Madrid. She unfortunately couldn’t match her semifinal berth of 2008 in the French, as she fell to Sorana Banana, eating a bagel in the second and then eventually losing in an absolutely insane third set, 7-9.

High On Grass

Not much of a showing on grass for JJ, as she lost in the first round in Eastbourne to Chak, and in the third round of Wimbledon in a break out performance by American now superstar (my tongue just injured my cheek) Mel Oudin.

Hard For America

Things started to turn around back in America for JJ, as she made the quarters of Stanford, losing again to (eventual champ) Mono, and then beating fake number 1 Dinara in the final of Cincinnati (after refusing to beat Lena in the semis, and then doing so anyway… let’s not talk about that). She didn’t fare so well in Toronto, like many seeds (I believe because I was there) losing in the quarters to Kleybs (for what it’s worth, I caught a little bit of her match against Patty). The USO was a total flop, especially after making the finals last year, losing to Slava Shedova in the second round in a third set tiebreak (in what was a totally insane and entertaining match).

Asia and Beyond

Ah, the famous final retirement. Tokyo got their money’s worth as JJ retired down 2-5 to Masha in the final, though she still gained some much needed points. She dropped in the second round in China to Peng, but qualifed for Doha this week as Bepa fell early in Moscow, and she then pretty well tanked her match against Kleybs in the quarters. See ya soon, JJ.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kd7ox62s8ZI&hl=en&fs=1&]

I … have no idea. But this is amazing. Sorry that regular programming has been down (it will return tomorrow) but Maz found this piece of brilliant Youtube art for me, and it must be shared with the world. WOZ WOZ WOZNIACKI. Sorry Pico, you just lost. Rawr.

And just like that, that’s all she wrote. Bepa drops a bagel and 2 to Pironkova (seriously?) and JJ’s match becomes inconsequential, which means she will lock up the final spot for Doha.

I think, to get ready for Doha, Saturday and Sunday I’m going to do posts for the top 8 players (bottom 4 Saturday, top 4 Sunday) how their years have gone, and what kind of momentum (if any) they have going into YEC, as well as previous YEC (or WTF) experience, if any.

And since some sorta kinda other interesting stuff has been going on, I’ll wrap that up while I’ve got the time…

Well, look what hometown girl has come flying out like a house on fire. Kiri knocked out CanWoz… le sigh. Kleybs, Franny and Dushbag all won too. JJ is on court right now, but as noted, it doesn’t even matter if she wins.

So much for that whole “battle to get into Doha” thing. Poor Aga lost to MaKiri 3 and 3, and Flavs retired against Agi Szavay down 0-3 in the second set after winning the first, with a leg injury. Lame. A-Rad cited being tired on court, and the fact that it was playing so slow (it really is in Moscow, insanely slow for a hard court) meant she had to run down a lot of balls and was just generally feeling exhausted. Le sigh. As for Flavs, a crap end to a great year, head up woman. As you’ve probably figured out, both players are now out for contention into Doha. And because of the ridonk rules, A-Rad can’t get into Doha, and Flavs who can, won’t go because Fed Cup is the same week. Oh WTA, you’ve done it again.

So who do we have left? JJ and Bepa, separated by a whopping 5 points in the race, with JJ having the slight edge. So pretty well, whoever gets further in Moscow is into Doha, and if they both lose in the same round, then its JJ. Simple as that.

Further WAT? in Moscow, A-Bond beat Nads in straights.

Wicky, Dani, and Ms. Licky all won in Luxembourg, and Flippy McFlipkens upset third seed AMG. How about them Belgians?

Who saw that coming? Not me. And doesn’t that pic look like its been photoshopped and should be used in an ad? Someone get on that.

Marat dropped the first set and then… came back and won the next two? In 2009? Against the top seed? Ugh, my brain hurts. The hotness lives to see another day baby, and considering he’s now got the draw of a top seed… well, win some matches dude, this is fuckin’ Moscow! And since we’re on the topic of hot messes:

What EVER are we going to do with you? Hotness lost to Johansson 64 64. I know the dude is at home but… yikes. This is why he plays all those random clay tournaments after the French that only us crazy diehards give a crap about.

Other winners include Sod, Baggy over JCF, Feli over Ernie, and Old Man Haas.

(I know Viggo was getting his gnarly scruff on in that movie, but what a questionable pic choice…) That’s right baby! Argie Headbandian will retake his rightful place on the throne of headbands (after lots of bad posing this summer) in January in Auckland AKA the Heineken Open or That-Tourney-Elf-Is-Too-High-Class-For-To-Defend. Meh, Argie for an Argie, I’m down.

Oh JJ. She had to lose the second set 5-7, but she pulled out the third one easily against Slava and avenged her USO loss in Moscow. Still, not an overly impressive win in her run to get the final spot into Doha, especially considering Bepa won her match easily.

And guess what, the injury bug is spreading faster than swine flu in the tennis universe, and it wasn’t pretty today. Errani dropped out against CanWoz after being breadsticked, Banana pulled out after only 3 games in her match, and Caro retired up a set and 5-0 (!!!) in her match with a leg injury. Ugh. Good sportsmanship, at least, if she knows that its so bad that she’s not going to bother playing her next match, but fuck sakes girl. You get into Doha easily, and the week before decide to play some crap nothing tournament in Luxembourg? I might lose my shit a little bit if Caro decides not to play Doha. Rest up woman.

Of course the men weren’t planning on being left out either. The Kief (who had to qualify in the first place) retired in the second set to Granola Bars, and Gicquel retired to Rochus after losing the first set. Of course. Tipsy and Fabrice (woohoo!) both won their matches, and second seed Hanescu fell in three to American Odesnik.

And over in the Land Of The Cheap Hookers … nothing happened. The only seed to play, Beck (the fifth) lost. How fun. The rumour mill has done its fair share of running though, and according to PimPim’s blog, Ernie might have had something to do with the whole sex scandal thing. Word has it that the other player actually isn’t playing in the tournament, either, which makes things even more hilarious. If I’m behind in the rumours, let me know, nothing is actually official yet though, so really, we should just sit tight.

And if you’re curious, A-Rad and Flavs are both in action tomorrow, both matches on TTV, but unfortunately for me, the horrid time zone difference serves as a gigantic thiefer of hotness and fun tennis watching. Sorry Agi, I’m not staying up until 3 to see your match…